3 ways to improve your self-care

I feel relieved this week. My last post on having a healthy relationship with alcohol was hard to write. I had been having those thoughts for some time, but forming thoughts into sensible sentences isn't always easy. A quick thank you to everyone who read and everyone who sent me feedback or shared the post. I won’t lie, I had more drinking instances in the last seven days than is typical for me, sort of ironic after writing that. However, they were accompanied with celebration, quality time with friends and family, and a conscious decision to just enjoy.  I took my own words to heart, did a mental check-in, and made decisions that aligned with what I wanted and needed to feel happy. I would love to hear about any new thoughts, choices, or actions that you experienced over the last week after reading that post.

I realize discussing alcohol in the way I did isn't something that happens often and some might say, is taboo. There are a lot of less discussed topics that we need to talk about more - alcohol, relationship with food and exercise (the talking down and shaming ourselves which has become the norm), money, and sex. I really want to bring more of these topics to the blog, but bear with me, it isn’t always easy. I do recognize, that if I am having thoughts, concerns, or worries, that I am not alone. As always, if there is something specific related wellness, nutrition, or happiness you want to hear about - let me know (I can leave your request anonymous)! 

self-care

I am going to switch gears a bit today. Two months ago I talked about ways to improve your nutrition. I believe in three pillars of wellness which includes nutrition, movement, and self-care. Today, we are diving into caring for ourselves!

Some people dislike the word self-care because they feel it implies we shouldn’t always care for ourselves. I mean, of course we should always care for ourselves, but the reality is we don’t. We should move our body every day, eat at home most of the time - it serves us well - but isn't always possible.  We run around, juggle to-do lists, and social and professional obligations, family responsibilities - then all of a sudden we realize we are run down and haven't taken half a second for ourself. 

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I challenge you to bring self-care into your week. Self-care on the weekend is easier, but we shouldn't be living for the weekend. Taking time for you during the week will make your week less stressful and help prevent Friday burn out. Challenge yourself to slow down, even just a little bit. Commit to just this week. My hope is something will feel so good, so good, you will continue the action next week, and so on. If you wait until you have more time, it will never happen. The time is always now. You got this.

3 ways to improve your self care this week

  1. Meditate. Meditate everyday this week. Remember, goals are easier to stick to when you think in short term. I am not asking you to meditate everyday for the rest of your life, just for the next seven days.  You need less than ten minutes per day, but be realistic! If you are someone who runs around all day and is so tired you barely make it into bed, don't expect to make time for meditation before bed! Instead, set your alarm 10 min earlier and meditate as soon as you wake up. Meditating during your lunch break can work too. I highly recommend the freebies on these apps: Headspace, Insight Timer,and Calm.

  2. Sleep 7-8 hours every night. This is a hard one! Picking a bedtime is hard, sticking to it is harder. You might intend to get in bed by 10, but after washing your face, ironing clothes, packing up lunch, etc, it can look more like 10:30. Set an alarm on your phone that lets you know when to start your bedtime routine so you are in bed at the intended time. Extra props if you keep your bedtime the same on the weekend! Our body likes routine, and will thank you.

  3. Nourishing activity. Add a body or soul noursihing activity to at least one weekday. This might be a massage (partner massages count here too!), a pedi or mani (at home is fine!), an at home face mask, or taking a bath. While beauty regimens are a great and obvious way to care for yourself, don't underestimate the impact of settling into a clean room, reading a book, cooking a comforting meal, or journaling. How do you know if an activity is nourishing your body or soul? It should be something that forces you to tune-in, instead of tune-out (this means screen time doesn't count as an approved nourishing activity). 


I know you can do this. Seriously, it is one week. Give it a try, and see what you learn about yourself. Share with me your findings and realizations from this challenge!  If you have a different way you bring self-care into your busy week, I want to hear about it! 

is your relationship with alcohol healthy?

I have been using alcohol to avoid, numb, procrastinate, relax (a necessary means versus an enjoyment), and to quiet my mind. Today I am sharing my 'wake-up' moment and insight into building habits that align with your goals.

why

If you are working on your mindset, beliefs or spirituality, health, self-love, fitness, or confidence - then you need to take a look at your relationship with alcohol.

Recently, I came to a realization that my ‘why’ for drinking, was no longer healthy. While I have been down this path before, this time felt different, and harder to recognize. The truth is, I love alcohol. I truly believe alcohol can bring fun, happiness, connection, and genuine relaxation to life. Unfortunately, in the hectic lives we lead, we can easily, and unknowingly cross over the fine line that exists between enjoying alcohol and needing it. I am not here to judge, but I want you to take a minute to read this, and do some self-reflection of your own. 

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realization

For the last several months I have been feeling very down the day after drinking. Sure, a hangover is unpleasant, but this went beyond the physical discomfort. This was negative self-talk, frustration, and general unhappiness. I wasn't going wild, but I still felt guilt around small things like staying out late, spending more money than I intended, or picking an argument with a friend. I wondered why I ordered those last two drinks, or the most expensive cocktail, or why I didn’t go home when it felt right. I felt ashamed of myself and like I couldn’t trust myself to make the right choices. It was a self-fulfilling prophecy, similar to what many of us experience with food. We expect that we will drink too much/ overspend/ overeat, and so we do, which makes cycle continue. We don't consider that there may be another way.

My ability to take a pause, and recognize that my shitty feeling was directly tied to consuming alcohol was harder than it should have been.  But, this is how change happens. We don’t come to a realization (a truth about our wellness) and change forever. We need to process it. Once you have awareness about needing to change (any health habit) I recommend a priority and goal assessment and then a time usage assessment. Is how you are spending your time aligning with your priorities? If you have a priority of health yet spend most of your waking hours at work, there is a big disconnect. If you have a goal to increase your health by improving cardiovascular endurance, yet you spend your evenings reading a book instead of lacing up your sneaks, you aren't working towards your goal. No activity is inherently bad, but we will feel resistance if we aren't doing activities that align with how we want to live our life.

I found I was not using my  free time in a way that aligned with my goals. Growing my business was a high priority, yet much of my free time on the weekend was going towards drinking activities. No wonder I was feeling down, I wasn’t living the way I knew deep down I wanted to be living. Some soul searching helped me see that I didn't really want to day drink, I just wanted to consume too many drinks so I had an excuse to leave my to-do list untouched.

it's not easy

Most of the time, the reason we aren't living aligned with our priorities, or taking better care of ourselves, is because it is easier to keep doing what we've been doing than to do the hard work that may scare us. For me, the hard work was putting time and energy into my business. Perhaps your priority is a self-care action like more exercise. Building the habit of attending a fitness class or getting outside for a walk is hard, so maybe you self-sabotage by staying out too late and drinking too much so you have an excuse to not get moving. The mental and physical shitty feelings you have the next day may feel easier to deal with than taking new action. But, continuing that cycle will leave you continuously feeling bad.

I think a lot of us use alcohol to escape and numb without even realizing it. We shouldn't need to escape from our life, our feelings, or our goals. If you aren’t happy with an area of your life - work on changing it! I wasn’t happy with my time management, goal setting (or lack there of) and I was drinking instead of taking an honest look at myself. Now, I am still enjoying alcohol, but I am also setting concrete goals for myself so I get the work done, too. I am putting my goals, that make me feel good, first, and letting socializing fit in when it feels right. Setting goals and getting clear on what was important to me really re-inspired me. Remember to focus on the positives around your priorities and goals. FOMO can get in the way, so remember your why and don't play the victim card. If something is really so dreadful, then perhaps it doesn't earn a place on your priority list right now.


Take an honest look at why and how you have been using alcohol. Is it for fun and socializing, or is it for numbing and avoiding? Are your actions lining up with your priorities? I want to hear more about your relationship and/or struggles. with alcohol. Comment or contact me here.