How often do you think things like: I wish I had a body like him/her; I wish I had that much self control around food; I wish I had that discipline to workout; I wish I could travel more; I wish I had a different job; I wish I had a partner to share life with; etc?
It is too easy to compare ourselves to others or to what we think life should look like. But, if we're always looking for perfect (body, job, partner, life) we can't make any progress. We can fall into this trap where we can't move forward because we are too preoccupied with what we don't have.
Recently, I have noticed more of these perfection comparison thoughts, mostly related to my career. But then, I remind myself of the times things have worked out when I stopped pursuing perfection. When I stopped chasing the perfect body I finally loved and accepted myself. I was able to realize I had skills and qualities that went beyond how I looked or how hard I worked in the gym and this realization helped me project confidence. When I stopped expecting a certain kind of guy to be the right one for me I met the most amazing man who is the truly perfect fit. Even now, when I stop obsessing over what other people are doing in their businesses and what I'm NOT doing, I am able to focus more on the opportunities I do have and find that new doors open to me.
Simply put, being unsatisfied keeps doors closed. Waiting for perfect keeps us stagnant. I know it can be hard to break away from this way of thinking, though.
Reading Gabby Bernstein's "The Universe Has Your Back" changed my life. One of the many mindset ideas she presents is "perception is projection." What we think is what will be. We tell ourselves stories about situations or people and in thinking them they become reality. We need a better mindset, a more positive mindset. The areas of our life where we may perceive negativity or fear are constantly changing which is why this work is a continuous process. Here are some strategies I have found useful in working through my thoughts to create a more positive outlook:
1. Confide in yourself. Journaling has been very helpful for me. It can help you work through your mindset and thoughts without any fear of judgement. You will be surprised how much you are able to work through just by putting pen to paper.
2. Confide in others. Make sure you pick a friend, partner, family member that is non-judgmental, or find a therapist.
3. Move mindfully. I used to use exercise as an escape. But, when you use tough workouts to push aside your thoughts you're not making them go away. This can cause resentment and lead to overall frustration and built up anger. We need to work through our feelings and emotions to move past them. Walking, leisurely running, yoga, working out with a friend, are all ways that you can connect your body and mind and do this work.
So, as I try to have more grace with myself, and stop trying to do things perfectly, please excuse me if my blog posts are more spaced out, or my instagram pictures are lacking in quality. I intend to keep sharing my message with the time I have, on my own terms, not the terms of what someone else is doing.
When we find enjoyment in what we have, in where we are, and in who were are now, we can embrace life and accept the path we are on. I hope you join me.